Or in other words, accept the adventure and will that God has in store for us rather than insisting on making our own path. As I grow, I am beginning to learn more and more that it's not that my dreams, goals and desires are wrong, it's that they are incorrect; I haven't got my facts straight, and I never fully will. This failure of perception and awareness is a tragic and immutable trait of humanity. Even if you consider that there is no God at all, this particular characteristic is still present and brings many troubles. If you look at it from this perspective, God's invitation to accept His will over ours is merely bonus.
I recently lost my keys up on the mountain at a huge ski resort. They fell out of my unzipped pocket somewhere. I had gone to extra trouble to wrap my smart phone in a zip-lock bag, wrapped in cloth, and stored in my backpack, but I was careless enough to leave my keys in the open pocket of my snow pants. I lost my car keys, my house key, and my office key. I had no spare keys at all. I was livid and felt violated that control was ripped away from me and I was left helpless and dependent upon others.
I spent the rest of the day and the following day with Dave, Peter, and Chris throwing snowballs at waterfalls, chatting-up the ladies, and getting to know each other on deeper levels. We pretty-much covered all the risky topics: sex, religion, and politics. I honestly don't know what God's plan was for all of this or even if He had a plan. I do know that some very old wounds of bonding and friendship resurfaced. This would seem to coincide with refiner's fire.
The thought of calling my friend back to come pick me up from the parking-lot made me very uncomfortable. I hate depending on others like that, I'd grown accustom to being independent for far too long. I had thought that achieving full independence from people, particularly my friends, I would finally be free from disappointment and pain. This isolation inhibits the natural flow of love and only fulfilled my greatest fear: "What if I am missing something?" (quite possibly everything actually)
But then it was over and God doesn't wait to send a new wave. This act of letting go is a state of mind. It has little to do with letting go of one's possessions to be more holy, letting go of a lover so that you can move on, letting go of a financial disaster and cutting your losses, letting go of your child as she leaves home for college. No these are merely fruits of this mysterious state of mind of letting go. This state of mind revolves around trust and self-denial. These are two more characteristics that constitute love, the greatest commandment.
God is getting at something here, particularly with me, and I can only hope that I have the courage to trust His lead and not waste any more of His time or my time in this matter.
As for my car, it's still stranded a hundred miles away from the nearest dealership where I must have new keys cut and programmed for it. It will cost me nearly one grand after everything is said and done, but for some reason I find myself oddly grateful.
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